Expect the Unexpected: A First Float Experience

I looked back over two months and could easily count and recount the number of busy and very stressful moments, but I was concerned I could not easily recall moments of relaxation.  A friend recognized the pattern and suggested I find a sensory deprivation float tank.  After doing a little bit of research, I found Gravity Spa and I thought I was prepared to finally take 90 minutes to just relax.  Of course, the only thing I learned was everyone’s first float tank experience is different and it is not always what they expect.

I settled into the tank and focused on stopping all motion.  I figured I just needed to breathe, practice some mindful meditation, and just exist in the moment.  Once the intense feeling of relaxation spread over me, I realized I could not tell if my eyes were open or closed.  I imagined floating in a vast empty space and could only hear my heartbeat and breathing.  My heartbeat seemed to make ripples and thoughts drifted by with my breathing.  I found myself reliving interactions and moments, but they did not bring about the same feeling of stress.  Instead, it was as if I was watching these moments from my past at a distance.  As with all time in a float tank, I could not tell if ten minutes or forty-five minutes had passed.

A surreal feeling of insignificance washed over me and the things that seemed important were made smaller and manageable.  

I started to see a hue over memories as I replayed them in my mind.  The hue was a specific area of the color spectrum.  Watching a conversation in my head while floating, it took on a dark orange and red hue.  It was an unpleasant conversation, and the color association began.  While the float tank provided an environment akin to floating on a cloud of nothingness, my mind wandered through the timeline of my own history.  I found myself categorizing my life experiences and people in my life on that color spectrum.  Blue, purple, and green memories were positive, happy, exciting, or moments I cherished.  Red and dark orange memories brought on feelings of anxiety, regret, or anger.

In the moment, I could somehow see time on a linear scale.  It was a tangible object I could hold but not hold onto.  Viewing time in this way made me fear it, respect it, and start to evaluate how I spent it.  Looking over the negative, orange and red-hued situations, revealed they all circled one area of my life, my business.  In turn, I found the memories of giving advice and offering help were tinted in light blue and green.  I needed to lean into this feeling and hold onto the clarity it offered.

By the end of my first float tank session, I had made the decision to close down my private investigation consulting business and write a book to help people.

The time spent sitting in the meditation area after the float proved just as important as the float itself.  The moment I left the float tank room, I sat quietly on a pillow drinking tea.  I pulled out my journal and the outline of a book just poured onto the paper as if someone else was doing it.  The only guarantee for your first float tank session is it may not be what you expect, but it will not disappoint.  It could be simply a moment to relax and relieve soreness, but you might shut down your business, start a book, and view time as the most precious commodity you have.
–Benjamin Tallman